Sunday, September 12, 2004


Entry 18

The other day my mom was talking to her cousin who lives in Canada ; he was telling my mom about sending his father-in-law to a NURSING HOME...
Whenever I hear this word or someone sending their parents there , I feel terribly bad, sad and depressed ...
I can never see a son or daughter sending their parents there although they have their own reason; most of them say the reason is that they cannot take care of their parents well at home ; but I don't believe: it's just an excuse ! ...
Most of these families who send their parents to a nursing home are rich enough to get a nurse and want her to take care of their parents at home...
Sending parents to a NURSING HOME - in my opinion-shows complete lack of love, kind feeling , affection and sympathy towards them...
The intertsting point is that most of the families who send their loved ones! there are rich ... and nobody has ever seen a family, who aren't able to take care of their parents, send them there ...of course it may be because of the expenses , but I think it's not the real reason ...
I can never tolorate a mom or dad's innocent looking at the door of a NURSING HOME, expecting their children to arrive on a holiday , and the worse , looking at them innocently with their eyes filled with tears when they are leaving ...

5 comments:

Analoza said...

I agree with you! Mexican families usuall take care of their elderly at home as well. And most of our families are not wealthy. I would just never trust anyone to care for my loved ones as well as I could.
Ana

Chackavak said...

Dear Ana That's the same for us In Iran there are very few people who send their parents to a nursing home

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, the way UK society is structured means that nursing homes really are the only option for many elderly people. I don't mean to be too critical, but you have painted a very simplisitic picture. I also (hate to be patronising) guess that you not too old?When you are younger, you look to parents as the centre of your universe. They are all-seeing, all-knowing providers who never make a wrong choice and.... let's face it.... exist to look after their children.When we're young, we cannot understand that parents have their own lives, their own troubles, their own unique circumstanes. It is often impossible for a family simply to take on an elderly relative in their own home. And you can bet your bottom dollar it will be the female of the household who ends up as the primary carer.Not sure what you're definition of a nursing home is? I have come into contact with a lot of retirement homes, nursing homes, sheltered accommodation, etc. and many old people enjoy the security, the care, the nursing and above all, the company of people their own age.We cannot project our feelings onto the elderly. Sorry to have rambled on - don't mean any criticism ) Have given you a sweetie to prove it!Heather

Chackavak said...

Hiiiii FinchTowers...Thanks a lot for visiting my weblog and I'm sorry for delay in replying to you...Can you believe I saw your comment today? I don't know why I hadn't seen it before... It had never happened to me...Anyway ... thanks a lot for your commentI think really emotionally about sending parents to nursing home,although they may look satisfied there being with the people in theirown age...In my opinion ,what they really need is their children's love , not the love of some strangers ..,I,myself,will never send my parents to a nursing home ...and you know I live in IRAN and as you may have heard, here, we are veryyy dependant to our families and our parents emotionally...For example ,in Iran, children still live with their parents before marriage, even if they become 30 or 40 years old ... They leave their parents only when they marry ... so there may be the difference between the cultures as well...
Good Luck
Chackavak

Finch Towers said...

Hey Chackavak! It's a good example of the way different cultures value different things. Although, with the price of property in the UK, more and more adult 'children' are living with their parents as they can't afford to buy.
It's been a pleasure meeting you )